FanFiction Archive

Understanding

Part 4

Willow opened the door and gave Angel a smile. "Hey."

"Hey," Angel replied, swallowing hard. 'God, this is surreal. She shouldn't be here. She should be at her own home. Buffy should be
the one answering the door.' he thought to himself.

Willow stepped back, noticing the play of emotions cross Angel's usually stoic face. "Come on in," she said quietly, gesturing with her hand.

Angel nodded and stepped through the door. He looked around, noticing small changes here and there. It even smelled different and he could detect only lingering vestiges of Buffy's scent. "Where's Dawn?" He asked before pausing, "and what was Spike doing here?" He all but growled.

Willow smacked him on the arm.

Angel looked at her in surprise. "What?" He asked confused.

Willow shook a finger at him. "You be nice. He's going through the same thing you are. Well, except he and Buffy never dated," she conceded. She shrugged, and looked at him in sympathy. "He did love her, in his own odd way."

Angel raised an eyebrow, his eyes glinting with golden flecks. "Oh?" was all he could manage.

Willow nodded, her resolve face firmly in place. "Yes. And don't you 'oh' at me, mister!" she berated him. She took a deep breath and continued. "And Dawn and Spike are out to the movies. They do it once a week."

"They what?" Angel asked in astonishment, not bothering to hide his
skepticism. 'She lets him take Dawn out? What is she thinking?' Angel wondered, pushing down the urge to ask her just that.

"They are out at their weekly movie night," Willow answered, her voice calm. "Dawn likes him and he thinks of her as a little sister."

"You do know that if he had ever had a sister, he'd have killed her?" Angel snapped.

Willow's face hardened. "Angel, the decision isn't yours. Spike and Dawn are friends and I won't interfere with that. Dawn's had too many people taken from her this year and she couldn't stand to lose Spike too!" Willow retorted. "Besides," she continued quietly. "I think Spike promised Buffy something. I'm not sure what but he's taken it as his responsibility to look after Dawn when I can't. He's good about that. He's been a really big help."

Angel looked at his feet. "Oh," was all he said. He cleared his throat and looked around again. "I'm sorry."

Willow smiled slightly. "It's not a big. I should've warned you. Do you want something to eat? I just picked up the order from Willy's this morning."

Angel turned sharply to look at Willow. "You went to Willy's alone?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Yes, dad, I did!" She said with a grin, pulling on his arm and leading him to the kitchen. She pointed to a stool. "Sit," she ordered, and was surprised to see Angel do just that. Grabbing a bag of blood from the fridge, she deftly sliced it open with a knife and poured it into a mug. Placing it in the microwave, she pressed the "beverage" button and turned to face Angel. "Things have changed Angel. I'm not the same person I was when you left. I'm a pretty powerful wiccan now and everybody in town knows it. Well, at least the demons do. I can take care of myself."

Angel sighed. "Willow, are you sure-"

"Yes, Angel, I'm sure. I... I was Buffy's big gun! I took on Glory and lived. Not to say that I didn't have help, I did. But I kicked her ass! I hurt her!" Willow told him.

Angel raised a brow and gave Willow a somewhat accusing look. "You
left that out of your story earlier," Angel noted in what he considered a very calm manner.

Willow blushed and bit her lip. "Well, um, you know. Didn't want to toot my own horn. Besides, there were more important things to tell you," she said softly. The microwave beeped. Willow took out the steaming mug and handed it to Angel.

Angel nodded. "Thanks," he said, sipping at the blood. He looked at the mug in his hands for a moment before meeting Willow's eyes. "Can I give you some advice?"

Willow nodded. "Sure," she replied, sitting on the stool next to him.

"Be careful with the black magic," Angel began. He held up a hand as he saw Willow begin to protest. "And don't tell me you didn't use it. That's the only thing I can think of that would allow you to hurt Glory. And I'm not telling you this because I think you can't take care of yourself," he continued. "I have to admit I'm wondering if going into a demon bar alone is the smartest thing you can do, but if you've lived this long on the Hellmouth, you can take care of yourself. But I've seen the magic take over a person. They become so power hungry they lose themselves. They do things and say things they would never consider even thinking if they weren't on the high black magic can give you. They become addicted to it and I've known one person who's overcome the addiction. One. Out of dozens. And I don't want to see that happen to you."

Willow was silent for several minutes, thinking about what Angel had
said. "Who says I would become addicted?" She asked, an edge to her
voice.

Angel shrugged. "I never said you would. I just said I didn't want
to see it happen. And the way you told me you kicked Glory's ass,
it reminded me of someone I knew," he admitted.

Willow looked at him in curiosity. "Who?"

"Me."

Willow crossed her arms and looked hurt. "You? You never told me you were into magic!" She said.

"Oh, no. I don't mean magic," Angel replied. "But I do understand the urge to have something pushing you to do things you can't do. Knowing how good it would feel to give in just once. But you can't and you know it. And I don't want you to have that urge Willow. It makes life a hell of a lot harder than it already is."

"Oh," Willow said softly. She had felt the power and almost glorified in the rush using the black magic had given her when she was avenging Tara. She had avoided using it since the battle with Glory. She had used magic since then, to help with the slaying, but not any spells out of the book at the Magic Box. She had been tempted to, but had realized that other spells would do the same job. 'Oh Goddess. Angel's right. I could so easily have lost myself.' Willow thought to herself in horror.

Angel saw the terror on Willow's face and was not surprised by it. 'Good, I got through to her,' he thought in satisfaction, finishing off the blood in one large swallow.

"Thank you," Willow said softly, leaning over and giving Angel a kiss on the cheek. She blushed as she realized what she did and pulled away immediately.

Angel stiffened slightly but managed to make himself relax. He smiled at the redhead seated next to him. "No need to thank me. You've done so much for me, there's nothing I can do to repay you," Angel told her. "Besides, I've lost too many people this year too."

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